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home is where you unload all of your stuff

I have some seriously cool and supportive friends that made this giant, somewhat stressful and slightly uncomfortable step into the intrawebs of space quite pleasant actually.  I thank you.  Some of you have inquired as to our schlep to Chicago, so here you are.  It's long.  Like our first week.

The First Week

We moved in Monday, August 1.  The Saturday before we packed up everything in our apartment in D.C., begged and pleaded with our friends to help us load it all into the truck on a 99 degree day, and popped our air mattress because someone filled it with too much air.  It was me.  I hate waking up in the middle of the night with my ass on the floor and my head and legs propped up like some defunct hospital bed.  Oops. 

Sunday we woke up and drove, separately, the 13 hours to Urbana.  We only got lost once and waited until we were in Illinois to do it.   

Monday we woke up, drove the 2 1/2 hours into Chicago with my dad's cat, Earl, roaming around the car
(a temporary house warming gift) and proceeded to beg and plead with new friends to help us unload everything in another 99 degree day - no AC this time.  Sorry, folks; thanks for helping us move...into our lime green bedroom?  We soon realized that when the landlord said, "It still needs cleaned" at the first viewing he was making more of a statement than a promise.  There were 6 inches of standing brown water in our dishwasher, a blue goo all over the fridge and counter, and a lap around the apartment left us with some seriously black, sooty feet.  The promised AC window units arrived a few hours after we'd unloaded everything and proceeded to blow the fuses for the whole apartment.  A few four letter words and a couple extension cords later we abandoned the apartment, with Earl refusing to come out from under the bed, and sought relief with some much appreciated friends. 

Tuesday we swept.  And mopped.  One closet.  And figured out that our toilet didn't work.  And by work, of course I mean flush.  Anything.  Since our AC units were still tripping the breaker we decided to leave them off.  90 degrees, really not that bad.  At least we could cool off in the shower.  Except it didn't really work either.  In that sense that water came out of four or five of the holes in the shower head, I suppose it did.  I hope you weren't wanting to rinse off any of that soap.  Next, I re-read our lease and ended the evening by crying and refusing to unpack anything or return our moving truck.  It's official - Chicago blows - and I'm not talking about the wind.

Wednesday and Thursday we swept and mopped.  I mean, on our hands and knees, scrubbed all 1800 sq feet.  And then mopped.  Twice.  One kitchen, one dining room, one living room, one bathroom, five closets, a hallway and two bedrooms.  3 bottles of Murphy's wood soap and one gigantic bottle of bleach.  Hands and knees.  I hate Chicago. 

Friday we went to the Wisconsin State Fair.  We ate a giant cream puff  , fried cheese curds, and drank microbrews.  We talked ourselves out of buying maple cotton candy and ended up spending $40 on cheese at the Cheese Castle.  Also, Earl finally came out from under the bed.  Friday was a good day.  Chicago still sucks, but Wisconsin ain't so bad.

Saturday I totally don't remember and Sunday we went to the local UCC church.  We left after the first 2 1/2 hours...before communion.  Week one.

Our apartment is clean now and we got a new toilet about halfway into the second week.  They replaced the dishwasher and microwave as well.  Our water was finally fixed on Monday and I can get to stand up to wash my hair now.  We took the window units out and have been enjoying the now pleasant weather AND electricity, though we're still waiting for the apartment to get rewired.  A few doors don't shut like they should and we've got some window screens to be replaced, but we can pee and shower, so who's complaining??

Oh, speaking of pee.  It seems the last tenets' cats did it.  A lot.  On the floor.  And apparently hardwood floors can actually sweat urine.  Sick.  So, if you know of any good tips for getting cat pee smell to go away, drop 'em here.  Seriously. 

But there's something about caring for a place that makes it feel like home.  And while our bedroom is still really, really, unnaturally bright green, we're settling in.  And it's good to be home.


Comments

  1. This was awesome. You're so funny, sissy! You have a super unique sense of humor in your writing that has kind of a bite to it. It makes reading your stuff really easy and engaging. Also, I totally rofl'd like three times before I was even halfway into this. :)

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  2. Ooh I can answer the cat pee question! An enzyme cleaner (I use Nutri-Vet) works amazingly, for a couple weeks at least, then you need to re-use it. I'm glad Chicago is getting a little better for you!

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  3. Oh, sweet niblins. That sounds...painful. I can't imagine floors sweating cat urine, but given my luck, I will have first-hand experience with it. By Thursday. I'm so glad it's getting home-like, and I hope we can have wine there soon. Xoxo

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